The Fiancé.... 'Short Story'

I am so happy, Being engaged, being out with my fiancé… he's a great man, extremely classy, nice, sweet, caring and rich ! and I believe I love him…

Oh… how I love being with him in his car, watching him drive while talking "business" on his mobile phone… I'm the business man's wife to be!

I love the drive in his extremely luxurious car… ummm how great my life is about to be…

I am so excited to start my new life as a woman of the high society…

Wearing branded clothes, high heels and classy skirt, talking from the tip of my nose and to the highest ranked people in town…

Being in the high society events, cocktail parties, charity galas, maybe someday I'll be the spokes person in one…

I love how he showers me with gifts and how he plans to surprise me with anything I want… sometimes even before I think I want it…

It all started off like a fairy tale… with the prince on one knee proposing with a ring that has a rock that can reflect the sun accompanied by promises of endless love and happiness…

Oh, I love my fiancé…

Oh wait, my phone is ringing… it's my mother in law… "hello ma…" this woman really charms me… how elegantly she behaves, how precious she always appears with her real diamonds and pearls necklace and the tens of karats of gold that are different every time I see her according to what she's wearing…

This is THE new life I'm gonna be in for the rest of my life… Maaaaaan, I'm gonna enjoy this…

Ummm… but why do I remember "him"… Okay he's the only man I have truly had true feelings for… why do I keep remembering how he felt for me that was all real and not just sugar coated, and the warmth that lacked the appearances… well, the fake appearances…

We used to be happy no matter where we go regardless of how broke we used to be, I miss the look in his eyes and the touch of his skin… I remember… damn… all of him…

Maybe cause he used to make me feel alive? Maybe cause I used to shiver every time he touched me?... I am extremely happy and I love my fiancé but when he touches me it feels more like he's "punching" a lifeless sandbag…

I gotta be reasonable thou… cause now… here… I will have whatever I want whenever I want it! I will look better than everyone I used to know and I will have even more than I need and I will actually be able to brag about it…

It suddenly hit me… I am enjoying this… enjoying the gifts and being the centre of attention But this is not my place to be… this is not who I am…

I should run…

If only "he" would take me back…

________________

In some point in life it's either choosing to suffer or suffer… suffering not getting what you want or getting what you want and suffering the consequences…

Sometimes people compromise something important for something that isn't that important… based on the momentarily decision…

I guess values differ from one person to another.

Bed Time Story... (The 4 Squirrels)

There was a very big nuts tree in the woods, it was owned by 4 squirrels; "Sangoob, Sanagbab, Sangaboob and Sengab"… They were very clever and well behaved squirrels that were always doing their best to enrich their big tree and its nut-crops, and they worked so hard to save as much nuts as they could for the winter.

Until one day, they ran into a hot female squirrel "Manal" that stole their minds, all of them… and they all did their best to impress her… They all spent much time with her playing and having fun until one time she came with a "powder" and asked them if they want it "Shakmanat walla Sossat" (Shakmanat = yesatarro and sniff sniff / Sossat = Injections) .

She started off with them as Shakmanat, they used to do it all the time and have fun afterwards, then they got so deep into this shit and moved into the Sossat stage… they forgot all about their big tree, forgot all about their mission of saving nuts for the coming winter time and all they did was Sossat and Shakmanat, eating, playing and dancing all the time…

Winter came and they had nothing left to eat…

The summer after, the other squirrels found the skeletons of the 4 ex-good squirrels inside their big tree with the remaining of the "powder". (I'm not sure what happened to Manal)

___________________

This is how my love gets me to sleep…

Told by the great story writer, and the one I adore

Just a "Legend"

She heard about him a lot… the "Legendary" person that everybody's talking about…

She heard about him a lot that she was thrilled yet scared to meet him… He loves everyone, everyone loves him; he's everyone friend and fun booster but she thought to herself, "What if he didn't like me? What if he didn't like her company?"… she did her best not to meet him… for so long she avoided any type of contact with him and trying her best not to hear about him even...

And one day, when She was completely dead…. Inside and out… some old friend came and said, "hey J… meet X !" , she was surprised… shocked… She kept her silence, didn't wanna say anything, she was scared he might have a bad first impression because of the state she was in, so she remained silence…

She watched him from a distance, yet watched him very closely… he was trying to penetrate her silence… she found him to be extremely sweet and loving, caring and charming… and gradually he succeeded in making her talk, she didn't know him well but she spoke her mind… she didn't know him at all but she felt comfortable as never before… she had never seen him before but she cried in his arms…

He tried to protect her and she tried to protect him… they have been transformed into a single person in no time and she didn't know what that was… maybe she needed this care? Maybe she needed an amendment? She never knew… but all she was sure of was that she was not scared anymore…

and in no time the "legend" was hers… she knew that from the look in his eyes, from the longing in his voice, from the way he touched her hand whenever he could and from the way he showered her cheeks with kisses every time he saw her… she felt like his doll…

But was she his?

The weird feelings of right and wrong started to mix up… the scary fact that she was trying to dive into something she didn't feel because she wants to feel alive again… she was trying to know if she had feelings for him and she believed that she was trying to convince herself with some feelings that she totally hadn't… she knew she was just going with the flow…

She was drugged for a while… but then Opening her eyes to many facts and many factors she never thought she would calculate ever… she knew that was all nothing, not even a phase … then slowly she started realizing what that all was, she totally miscalculated cause "if it walks like a duck… and talks like a duck…."

3id Milad Sho3'ly Anaaaa....

3addet Sana.... :D

As of Today, November 3rd, I have been a "working" woman for exactly 1 year...

Never thought I could last that long :D
I'm not that happy about it because it's like the anniversary of my personal/social/home sickness suicide :D

It no longer stay on my bed 24/7 watchin movies and TV shows... online all the time talking to others...playing games... talking on the phone till dawn and go out every night and go out to breakfast most mornings... with no worries and no responsibilities other than deciding what to do the next day, or even just leave it spontaneous... Damn, I even no longer take Saturdays Off !

During this year,Thank God, I have proven myself to be able to hold responsibilities, to be a workaholic and proved myself as a good employee in the work place... weird huh?

Believe it or not... I don't really hate to work...

Lie to Me.... +18

Scene 1:

She with "a" He

- a He: You're not falling for me… are you???

- She: I Love Him…

- a He: Then why are you sleeping with me?

- She: Maybe cause I wanna feel numb and stop thinkin' for a while…

Scene 2:

She with "the" He, in front of the bedroom's mirror

- the He: Look at you… You are so beautiful… and I just look ordinary

- She: You're amazing… I want nothing more

- the He: How do you feel?

- She: Can never be happier…

- the He: didn't know you can be such a tease…

- She: so we're having sex, strange huh?

- the He: we're not having sex baby… we're making love

The He kissed She's Hands several times…

- the He: I Adore You…

touch me…

- She: I am touching you !

- the He: no that's not what I mean… Touch me !

.... Now, I will take you to places you've never been…

A loooooooong Kiss… She… in the state of disbelief of where she is… or how happy she feels… feeling like all the days she has ever lived meant nothing at all…

- the He: OH! Why are you crying baby?

- She: Because tomorrow… I'll open my eyes… and you won't be beside me… you won't be here

- the He: this was all wrong from the start…

- She: then kiss me till the morning comes…

- the He: STOP !... we're not a couple

- She: I just wanted to live the moment… I just wanted you to Lie to Me…

Scene 3:

She with a She

- a She: I love you…

- She: mmmm

- a She: I said I love you…

- She:…..

- a She: don't you love me?

She silences a She with a long kiss, enjoys every moment… and when it's done, during She bursts into tears.

- a She: Why are you crying?

- She: cause I loved how it felt…

- a She: Then what made you cry?

- She: Cause now I know I will never feel what I felt with He ever again…

Scene 4:

She, on the edge, falling apart…

She will never feel that happy or that satisfied…

__________________________________________________________________

it's all an equation...

• Scene 1: no feelings involved
• Scene 2: feelings from SHE and nothing from THE HE
• Scene 3: SHE found herself doing the same as THE HE, no feelings from SHE side.

What is less painful?

• giving feelings to someone who's not willing to give you any feelings back?
  
• giving no feelings to someone who clearly has feelings for you? (doesn't have to be a She-She relationship)
• or playing safe and giving no feelings and also receiving none? I guess at this stage we'll be purely animals...
  

(Brain Storming with someone so messed up....)

Meet the Hypocrites...

Look! I believe everyone's free to do what they want!!! I believe in total freedom as long as it doesn't involve someone else...

You are free to do what you want... Just don't pretend otherwise!!!

Well Maybe its my problem that I know too much...

Some Snapshots:

• Meet the religious one, who speaks about how religious she is all the time and who always comments on what's everyone's wearing claiming that this is too revealing, these sleeves are so short, this is too slutty… and somehow spotted with a "Bikini" on the beach and hot shorts and a transparent – bra showing shirt at night in summer and in the arms of men... now being slutty is over rated huh??

• Meet the one who pretends to be deeply in love with someone that no body else knows, just to hide the relationship with someone from within.

• Meet the one who was madly in love with her boyfriend, and suddenly he is no good and she wants to leave him, and the next day she's showing her new "best friend" to everyone who eventually turned into a boyfriend in the next 13 hours.

• Meet the innocent gurl who broke up with her boyfriend cause he tried to kiss her, and she goes around telling this story to everyone even to the people she has previously slept with (note: I said people not guys)

• Meet the guy who makes a fake profile on facebook that posts and comments on his main profile and making up story lines just to show everyone he's in touch with the old love of his life (who I believe was fake in the first place)... Pathetic!

• Meet the too good to be true guy, who fascinates all the moms and dads of his extremely excellent attitude, and when you know him you feel like you've had the perfect friend… and 3 conversations later you discover that he just keeps this mask to sleep with everyone.

• Meet the best friend for yeaaaaaaaaars, who stops calling totally when she gets what she wants and when she finds someone else to completely take care of her and "pay" for every need she has.

• Meet my friend, who is the boyfriend of my friend, who is engaged to someone else in another city that is totally unaware that her fiancé is the boyfriend of my friend…

• Meet the great guy who pretends to be a great guy to sleep with the innocent girl who gets scared from being touched, not knowing that she can teach him sex for advanced levels.

• Meet the lesbian who always has one or more boyfriends and who always shows up with a guy when she's deeply hung up on her old female lover (easy on the pics gurl, I don't believe you wanna come out now! ).

• And Finally, Meet the one who pretends to be the excellent driver, who never makes any mistakes on the road but she's so unfortunate to have an accident all the time cause its somebody else's mistake EVERYTIME… and when there was no one to blame for the last accident… She blamed it on the "infrastructure", well, the road is built in a wrong way !!! Well, that last one was ME ! =D

Some Fun....

These are some of the videos that seriously crack me up!!!...

How to lose friends and Alienate People, Simon Pegg dance scene... this guy is HILARIOUS !



I Now Pronounce you Chuck and Larry , Wedding Scene... the priest rocks !! and the homeless guy makes me roll on the floor laughing... :D



Click here for a clearer version not from a TV... WATCH THIS !


Share3 Mohamed 3ali, Abo Ashraf !!!




Sar7an w Nefeesa.... El 3aaaar / 7a2aha wala mesh 7a2aha????




Steven Segal Emotions Chart, TRUE !!






and FINALLY.... 7arramt a7ebbak @ Marina Cuba Cabanna AKA, Social fedeeeeee7a !!!



Baree2.... Tareee2....

Bass keda :D !!

مشكلتى...

انا مشيرة... فتاة فى ريعان الشباب فى المرحله الثانوية

فى يوم كنت فى كافيتريا سيلانرو المرج عندما تعرفت على صباح... فتاة لطيفة و محترمة دخلت بيتها .. و لعبت مع اخواتها... و اكلت من اكلها... و شربت من ثلاجتها

و لكن يوم 12\8\2007 شفته... حب عمرى... اونكل ثروت ابو صباح

حبيته من اول همسه... من اول لمسة... من اول نظرة... من اول قطره (معلش عينى كانت تعبانى ساعتها) و فكرت كتير اقوله ... و ترددت كتير...لكن فى النهاية قررت اقوله واما جائتنى الشجاعة الكافية و قلتله.. صرحلى انه بيبادلنى نفس الشعور... و فكرت اعمل ايه كتير... اخبّى على صديقة عمرى صباح وللا اقوللها

ودخل الشيطان و لعب لعبته... و بعد اقل من شهر (فى يوم 11\9\2007 بالظبط) اتجوزت انا و اونكل ثروت عرفى من ورا صباح و مدحت (أه مدحت...اخو صباح الصغير فيه ايه؟؟) ... و عشنا مع بعض فى سعادة غامرة و انبساط مبهج لمدة كام شهر... لحد ما من شهرين اكتشفت انى حامل

ولما قلت لاونكل ثروت اتخض و اترعب... و قاللى انى لازم اتخلص من الجنين المسكين اللى مالوش ذنب فى كل ده... ولما رفضت... اونكل ثروت تمسك بيّا اكتر و اكتر و قرر يقف جنبى انا و ابننا الذى لم يرى الشمس بعد

ولكن مشكلتى كدة بقت كبيرة... و بتتمركز فى نقطتين:

1. نسمى الولد ايه؟؟؟

2. اقول لحبيبى يا ثروت ولا يا اونكل ثروت ؟؟؟؟

انا مش عارفه اعمل ايه.... يا ريت تساعدونى


مشيرة... الفتاة المعذبة

________________________________________________

Posted in Cilantro's Red Book on March 17, 2008 :D

"Happy Eid"

A Lucky Generation

I've always believed that the 1985-ers are the luckiest of generations…

Or the people in the same year's ball park in general, not the start of the 80s and not its end…

I'm so lucky to be born after the launching of a great infrastructure like the "6^th of October bridge"… and the A1 invention which is "the sanitary pads", and I'm also so lucky to be born before the "Hannah Montana" generation… (I can see a dark future based on the kids' preferences; the gurls dig chicks and gays lately)

I'm so lucky to witness the rise of:

• Mobile phones; I can't imagine that whenever someone has to reach me they have to go through my mom or who ever answering the phone first, I can't imagine that if I'm not home I'm unreachable, I can't imagine waiting for someone for more than 10 minutes without calling to ask where he is !

• The Internet; God bless the internet, the greatest invention of all !!!, I used to wait in front of the TV for days waiting for a video clip that I wanna see (a trivial high school girl back then… still am btw), God bless youtube the most !, the internet opened our eyes to a great interconnected world, If there were no emails I would mail any inquiry to a client abroad and wait for like 4 weeks for a feedback. The internet increased the youth's pornographic awareness most of all but at the same time their religious awareness as well, depending on the person "using"… damn I can go for days about the internet, I can write endless love letters to the internet :D… I've witnessed its 25KBps extra expensive dial up speed and its LAN and Wireless internet that we are enjoying right now.

• The satellite dish; we grew up on 3 channels if we're lucky, movies are in fixed times and you have only 1 option everytime… now we have like 100 english movies channels, 1000 arabic movies channels, 100000 music channels for example…
  

• Computers; they were developed long before I was born, but I have witnessed the storage capacity grow from 265 MB hard disk to the 423432492374 GB hard disk…I remember saving pictures of one event on like 1000 Floppy Disks (Mostly Brad Pitt's back then), and I believe I was one of the first people to ever have a scanner at home so it was a blaaaaaast being able to have personal pics on the PC... The computer is like my home, I can store all my life, everything I love watching, having, owning, keeping on it... pictures b2a movies whatever !!!

• Laptops; who knew I can carry my computer everywhere !!! and lay all day on my bed watching a movie or a TV show while eating chips and wafers…yea I'm crazy !... or in the cafe with whatever I'm doing... or even in the car... just Everywhere !
  

• MP3 players; for a music maniac, copying music on a tape was an issue!!! Now I can have like 2234234234 zillion songs on a match box – sized device that I can carry around everywhere !, I remember being so excited about having a double deck cassette recorder when I was 17, then more excited about a CD player, buying my first MP3 player with 512 MB storage with 1000LE !!! (now its less than 50 LE), and the rise of the I-pod...

· Digital Camera: for someone who's crazy about taking photos of every event and every second and every move/word said if possible, being limited by a 36 shots film was kinda frustrating, in addition to the cost of having them printed and finding out that most of them are just bull shit… I love my digital cam cause now I can take like 100000340234023 pics in a single day, sort them out and print whatever I want or watch'em on the PC which is the common thing to do

And many many many other great inventions that helped us greatly that I can not recall right now…

And I consider myself luckiest to witness their rise and not being born with them already present, so that now I know their real value not like the spoilt younger bastards…

But as all generations, I don’t seem to cope with further technologies :D

And I know its related to my generation but I don't like the "I-phone", the "touch technology" and most of all the "Play Station", or the super sophisticated games… I'm a humble "Atari" kid... Man I'm the generation of the "Back Street Boys" !!

Why the hell do I sound like a Caveman??

The Blessed Tag...

I was tagged by my Fellow Blogged "Ibhog" to do a wonderful list that made me think alot about the necessity of being thankful all the time and about every little detail in my life !

whose life is perfect? noone, but at least we have many good things that others can only dream of.
we all have obstacles but "Al7amdulelah" we have many many blessings that makes our lives better :)


The Rules of the Tag:

• The point is to say a heartfelt ‘Thank God’. So, you’ll have to choose power blessings, ones that really really are endowments, that you couldn’t possibly feel deeper gratitude towards God for. Ones that you feel grateful for, everyday.
• After each blessing, you’ll have to choose one word to describe your state. Examples: “Happy”, “Excited”, “Thankful”, “Humble”. Or, you have to choose any word that comes to your mind after it anyway – one that’ll summarize it all.
• The ones you’d choose are preferred to be special to you, for instance, we all know that ‘Eye Sight’ is an immense blessing, and of course we can list it, but preferably if it has a special meaning to us.
• The number of your blessings should be between 5 and 10.
• After finishing your list, you should write the word: “El7amodellah” in bold, and say it out loud.
• You should tag as many friends as you can – even the ones who don’t blog, inform them that they must comment.
• After that, well, all you do is to be happy and to have ‘Reda’ :)

and My list is:

First, I'm thankful for the rooted-change I have faced, during the last year God helped me change a lot from the person who cares about nothing but fun, no conscience at all. And regardless of the sins and loads of mistakes I have done, God helped me so that I grew a conscience, done many good things that I've been neglecting, started getting closer to God… and changed to a better person who I can really call "Good" and a person that I can really be proud of to be me. My Word: +ve Transformation.

My Boyfriend, God blessed me to fall in love with my best friend who is caring, warm, loving and amazing and whom I adore… I never have expected to be so lucky and I really hope it will end well… My Word: Love

My Work. I have a respectable job with a good boss al7amdulelah, not so boring and not so stressful and with reasonable working hours (regardless of the 1 day off only)…. My Word: Comfortable

Cliché, but I'm thankful for my Eye Sight… I had an extremely short sight and thank God finally I've undergone the Lasic surgery and finalllllly got rid of glasses and hateful contacts…. My Word: Vision !

Charisma, God blessed me with a charisma and a face that everyone can see as comforting, my face gives that idea about me that I'm an angel and extremely kind (which is somehow a false indication :D) and I don't know if that's good or bad but it works out good in many ways… My Word: Angellic

My Car- elmar7ooma, I know its menayela b 60 neela, but still it takes me where I wanna go and its my sole totally private space… My Word: Humble

The Internet !, I'm thankful to have internet all the time… but I will go further about that in my following post that I've been meaning to write for a while now… My Word: Technology rocks !

God made me realize in the past year the good people from the bad ones… My Word: Filtered.

Even though my life has a lot of obstacles as everyone, I'm thankful cause I believe that my life is way much better than many others… My Word: Satisfied

Al7amdulelah… 3la kol she2…

And hopefully God will keep all his blessings among us.

I Tag everyone who passes by... Mainly Evaluna, Brownie, Ma-3lina, Che, Nour, Abdelsalam Rachad and Kelma.