Sort of a Useless Mental State...

My Boss is Adorabe !! ... True story

I hate gurls with specific eye look, eli beyetkalemo bel 3en wel 7ageb… ones with extremely thin lined eyebrows and wide eyes and bitchy slutty shitty look…eww begad I'm sick of u !.... and I'm sick of the other little bitch and how she bitches around lately.

You never try to please me… but somehow… you always do… *

Sometimes I hate that I work cause I need to… and not cause I want to, and still, It's never enough cause of interventions… uffff !

I'm so bored I can't even seem to be working on something to get me out of it.

Sometimes when you try to make it up to me… you only make things worse…

"Are you testing me? Is that what this is about?

Are you putting on the Crazy *You* Show just to see how far you can push it with me?

Is that what this is?!!!!" **

Reminds me much of what I usually Do…

I love David Vendetta… I miss party times…

* Ronan Keating - The way you make me feel

** The L Word - 604

Joey

I know I have mentioned this before, but How can a man be soooooo extremely Adorable / Hot ?

And this is one of my most favorite scenes…. LOL !

Good Morning...

The best 5 minutes of the Day...

Black...

Black Love…

Black Kiss…

Black Room…

Black Bed…

Black Candles…

Black Walls…

Black Hair…

Black Eyes…

Black Tears…

Black Hopes…

Black Dreams…

Black Mood...

Black Past...

Black Memories...

Black Touch...

Black Breath...

Black Soul...

Black Scars...

Black Road…

Black Path…

Black Car…

Black Body…

Black Dress…

Black Shoes with High Heels…

Black Underwear…

Black Will…

Black Arms…

Black Voice…

Black Vision…

Black Bloom…

Black Life…

Why does everybody who knows me assume I'm a good girl? ...

Well... I can't wait for these times I turn BAD !

Repressed Summer "Bummer Summer"

I dream of things that I miss…

I dream of fun, of hangin' out in a beach-type vacation where we can have fun on the beach in the morning and go dancing and havin fun at night…

I dream of excitement… parties… wild wasted times… *Sighsssss*

I miss goin' home after the sun rise… swimming in the dark and leavin' the pool in the light… the cold waves hitting me on the face…

I even miss being tired, sleepless, exhausted…

The 14^th day always brings out all the depression…. Maybe it’s the repression: D

Since this summer I'm having no vacation, compared to last summer which was the most exciting wildest summer of my life… this is depressing… I would do anything to go to the "Cabaret" for a night!

I miss the gurls, the guys, I miss Karim and I miss the other Karim and the third Karim!... I miss driving 24/7, Pepsi, Pringles, smoking on the beach, gays, summer beats, the super market, Oreo "elagnaby" heehee, Alexandria breathe and Alexandria at dawn, parking lots, taking fun pictures, I miss being in the car with 7 other people for a long ride, dancing, I even miss 3'alaset my dad !

I dunno why… this is totally unrelated… I Miss "Ezzo" ! , I'ma give him a call later today...

Trying to light up the mood… I find this cool…

Yalla mesh mohem... I can't wait for today's loooooong dreamy sleep... its the only way to have fun these days.

Jelly and the Toy Store

Jelly… as a child growing up always have wanted that someone she truly loves might take her to her favorite place… the forbidden toy store…

She wasn't allowed to be there because it was a magical store that you can’t approach until you find your true love, because once you get into it you can never leave it until you die.

It was a graaaaaaaand toy store, maybe the most beautiful thing in life she has believed, that's why she was always thinkin' about getting there, however she never dared.

She has always heard about what was in there, she has dreamt that she was in there a lot and felt great waking up, but she could never tell if her dreams were like being there in reality. It was risky; however she has always been wandering around it, touching its glass from outside. She has talked to the toy shop employees a lot begging them to describe how it feels in there, it always brought her joy but she always believed that no matter what they say, it can never be compared to the real one.

She has been to its entrance (where you are allowed to be watching the toys from a distance, but you have to accompany somebody) many times with people she loved, and also with people she hasn't been in love with just to come closer to the place she has been dreaming of. But then she discovered true love can never be faked and no matter how much she "thought" she's in love she will never enjoy what she has been dreaming of without someone she's truly in love with (and not truly loves, from one side I mean).

Maybe someday Jelly will be truly in love, and her prince will take her to the toy store where she can live happily ever after, and play all the games and with all the toys she has always been dreaming of.

But the question is…. Can she wait? Or she'd dare, go in there, and die alone?

She's knocking hard on the glass…she's aching…

But in the end… Jelly is still a child.

Longing....

"In your eyes

I see things I know I can't touch

I know not to reach for them…

I let them touch me

And I cherish these moments

That we're able to share

However fleeting they may be"

The L word - 601

A Sinful Post

I have many small-bites thoughts… here are some, Many more to come...

• I think you're still into ass showing… I'm afraid I'm not an ass show-er any more… I dunno how we'll be coping.

• It gives you value to be forbidden… and come on ! u're so sinful !!!

• "Just cause I'm chained to the tree doesn't mean I can't bark at the Porsche…" …. 3la ra2y Amr… da tatallo3 !

• I wanna have Tattoos b2a, one on the ankle or the wrist, and the other somewhere non special persons can't see ;)

• An "EXIT" lights the sky… The sky becomes complete *

• I was reading a blog a couple of days ago… the guy was wondering why there are lesbians… I remembered a conversation I had with a psychiatrist friend… He informed me that females are naturally born bisexuals, however the community adijusts their sexual orientation to be what they are… mostly bisexuals still :D… (Won't get into details about his justification of the matter thou)

• I hate that I master the art of being crazy about someone – serial killer style

• "Tell me what you're wearing... ohhh a Black Dress... Ohhhh Black Stockings... Ohhhhh okay you're going to a funeral..." (Jack Donaghy - 30 Rock- 108)
  

• Lately I've been soooo contradictive… so mature yet so childish… so religious yet on the other hand doing wrong things (not the awful kind)… well I guess I'm trying to have some sort of balance

• Sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I hurt people unintentionally, sometimes I'm crazy and driving close people nuts or pushing them away, but I swear to God… deep inside… I'm "PURE", and its so rare these days to find someone white from inside, so if you just sweep the dust off me... you'll see it!

• Sometimes I believe I'm an extremely selfish person... Maybe cause I always want what's mine... or what I think is my right to have...
  

• I keep dreaming that I have it all… Oh I'm still craving, to have you by my side…. And I can't see today, and I can't see tomorrow, You're burning out my head and in my brain its going wrong… and I will live today, and I will live tomorrow, no matter what is said or done… even if its going wrong… I keep searching forever in your eyes, I'll be careful **

• I will learn, I already I'm learning… I will stop doing what annoys you gradually… well I have already quit like 90% of it!

• I hate that it still aches sometimes…

• Why everytime I give anybody information over the phone I find myself writing it as well? like my name or email or mobile number... weird huh?

• How do you think after all these sins you'll be a saint in no time? with that much little effort? – Well I'm doing my best and I'm just hoping it would happen.

• I believe no matter how old I get… I will always remain a child… and I'm not sure if it’s a good thing… I guess I will always have to be heavily pampered.

• I believe once you get a piece of the "Batta" you can never live without it… I really wonder how people can handle it !

• Ana baraka !!! heehee… ahh wallahy.

• I really am looking forward to seeing the karma… what goes around comes around… and I must be there to witness it.

• Do you believe what I say? Do you believe how I feel?

• Sometimes bad things lead to excellent outcomes, I'm soooooo glad these bad things have happened to me regardless of how bad they were, and believe me… they were really bad. But still… I'm thankful for the outcomes.

• 3aiza abattal ala3ab 7awagby b2a !

• انا كنت بعيش علشانك... مهما جرالى بحبك...بعد اللى انت عملته انا مش حفضل جنبك... مهما تعبت فى بعدك... تعبى فى قربك اصعب... انا لو قلت نسيتك حبقى بحاول اكدب *** (not related to anything, I just adore how Fadl feels what he's saying)

• The conversation goes like:
• She's much younger than you…
• But I do Love her… no… I Adore her!
• I think it's just physical
• Of course not !!!
• I believe whenever you think about her… you just remember the "physical" stuff
• Nooooo, we have out moments that I love and cherish… and if I wanted something physical I would've had it… you know me !
• But you've always been tied… and she tied you even more, now even if you're thinking about it you won't cause of her…
• I guess you're right… but still, it's not physical, she's everything to me.

* System of a Down - Highway Song
** Armin - Going wrong
*** Fadl Shaker - Ha7'alli Bali

Waka Waka....

Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka...Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka....
Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka..... Waka Waka Waka Waka..... Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka.... Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Waka Wak.